Ion's <GEEK> Journal

No. I've enver worked at a job where I wasn't part of a team, so I could never let down the other members of my team by doing something like that, and as a boss its really one of the worst things you can do, in my opinion. Its selfish and dramatic and not once when I've heard of it happening has it been fairly motivated. I'm not saying that there can't be good reasons for that sort of behavior, its just that I've never encountered it in my work experience.

The last person to do it where I work now did it because she didn't want to work register; she wanted to be in the kitchen area. I wasn't there, but I heard about it. We're pretty flexible when it comes to moving people to fit requests, but this time it wouldn't have worked. Most people accept it, but she refused to work if she didn't get to be in the kitchen. Refusing to work is a fireable offense, so she got sent home and told not to come back. She wasn't asked to work register out of spite or anything, its just that that's where she would have done the most good. It happens to everyone.

So, yeah. Never walked out. Stressful situations make me want to work harder to fix them, not flee.

BPD seems to be easily explained as Social Interaction Disorder (I just came up with that myself). I know there is some kind of name called Emotional Regulation Disorder (or something) and that fits too, but the less I interact with others, the less my symptoms exhibit. So, that's what led me to this name that I just figured out.

Trying hard not to be jealous/depressed right now. I know I did it to myself. Can't help but wonder if she has forgiven me yet (or ever will). Which begs the question as to whether I ever did anything wrong to require forgiveness, but that's besides the point to my guilt-ridden soul.

Going to make some food and watch vids until bed. Been feeling the urge to play mindless internet games lately, but haven't bothered browsing for any. Might try to reload iWin client.

Practiced and mostly mastered Barracuda (by Heart). My timing is messed up in some parts, but I'll iron that out.

When I analyzed the song, I was like, "Those notes are to going to fuck me!" but I did it! Yay for having more range than previously suspected. My voice sounds VERY powerful lately . . it's CRAZY . . I was at karaoke last night and I was holding those notes and they sounded so gorgeous and pure.

I think I gave up on my dream too fast. I need to keep going.

Not doing so well right now.

Was looking forward to the concert all day but once we started, I didn't want to be there. My anxiety got pretty bad but I made it through. Glad to be home right now.

I feel fat and useless. Being broke doesn't help any.

Beth asked me to do a song with her about bridesmaids. I told her I'd try. I've never been a bridesmaid; I've never been in anyone's wedding. (Cue thoughts of "I'm not important".)

I don't know what to do right now. I guess I'll try to keep myself distracted until bedtime.

Haven't really been up to much lately. Elaine's uncle is dying and my sister fell down a flight of stairs.
Went and met Murray last night. It was really exciting.

I've been sleeping most of the day. I'm telling myself it's because of the cold (temperature), but I think it has more to do with not really having anything to do. And, of course, as usual, there are things I could be doing, but just don't have the motivation to get started. I'm sure I'll bounce out of this soon enough.

Been watching lots of episodes of House and catching up on LJ. I'm glad my internet hasn't been shut off.

Big Christmas cantata tomorrow night (Beamsville Baptist Church, if anyone is so inclined). Dentist and Portal Village on Monday, then nothing scheduled until Xmas Eve.

The withdrawal from Celexa is going much smoother now. Woohoo!

No more abdominal cramps. Very slight dizziness and tingling sensations -- not very bothersome at all now. I sleep like a champ at night.

Just because it's smooth sailing now does not mean I recommend this to anybody. Learn from my stupidity. Don't try this at home. Ever.

Emily had her third birthday yesterday. She had a small gathering with her family and the next door neighbours and their kids. They brought her a Leapfrog number puzzle and a baby doll with a stroller.

I totally did not think she would like the doll and stroller since she's always been such a tomboy, but she was pushing that thing in circles for houuuuurrrs. She also insisted we bring the baby doll to dinner with us. She LOVES it -- my neighbour Bethany has spot on instincts.

If you push the doll's belly, it either laughes or cries (it alternates back and forth). If you make it cry, Emily gets really upset. She is so sensitive that it makes her sad when the dolly is crying. Poor babe.

I got Emily a HUUUUGE plastic food collection for her play kitchen since she was so psyched to see it every time we passed it in the toy store. She would march over and point at all the foods and say their names: "NONUTS!" for doughnuts, "TOOTIES!" for cookes, "DENCH FIES!" for french fries and so on. I think it's so cute how she pronounces things right now. Her english is still pidgin english but she's gotten so much better this year. She's just starting to string two words together: i.e. You ask her how old she is, she says " I'm FEE!" (her way of saying three -- R is such a hard consonant for her).

Grammy and Rob got Emily some puzzles and a Dora outfit. Emi wore her new outfit today.

I did Emily's hair (I suck with hair, so it's not exactly gorgeous) and I neeed neeed neeeeed to upload the photos so you can see how big she's gotten.

Anyways, that's it.

I'm still alive. Had late birthday cupcakes last night. It was snowing when we got off the bus on the way home (my first snow of the Winter). :)

No plans tomorrow, but I am booked solid Friday, Sunday, and Monday.

I will definitely try to catch up on LJ tomorrow. I've got to get to the bank and send out Stephanie's gift if the weather isn't too dreary.

My current plans are to watch House and work on my sister's blanket until Martin and Nancy pick me up for choir practice.

Just wanted to let you all know I am still alive and here is a pic of my birthday gifts from Ian:

So, what's fun to do in Azeroth for someone who doesn't have any of the expansions, and has found themselves level-capped at 60?

For reference: Here's the character in question.

Okay, just had Phish Food icecream for the first time. It is pretty fantastic. Very chocolatey and gooey; almost like a sundae straight from the carton!

Had a great day with my mom. Got my meds from the pharmacy and mailed out all my parcels and cards.
We went to Giant Tiger and got to shop leisurely. I hardly ever shop leisurely, I usually only shop when I need something. I ended up buying two pairs of pants. One denim and the other really fuzzy and soft. I can't remember the last time I bought fitted jeans. Turns out I am a size 16, which makes me happy. I had no idea. Also picked up a couple of meals, eggs (for baking), fruitcake, and snacks. Then we walked over to the LCBO and my mom stocked up on wine. Heh. She even bought me a bottle of rosé. The raspberry Smirnoff looks really good. Hopefully I'll get to try some soon!
We came back to my house and had tea & toast and lots of good conversation. I am glad to have finally gotten a real visit with my mom (not just a power visit).
I'm really emotionally/mentally exhausted from being so busy lately, but it kinda feels good at the same time. I think the actual holidays themselves will turn out fine. Only have 3 gifts left to send out, so that will be good, too.
Did I mention that I decorated my house? Did that on Tuesday, if I recall correctly. Wish I had somewhere that I could plug in Christmas lights.
Currently acquiring a selection of Christmas songs. Kind of tired of the same ones, even though it's a compilation I made myself!

Les is supposed to be stopping by tonight to pick up his books. Other than that, I plan on eating supper, then watching House and finishing up Stephanie's present.

Wassail is tomorrow night. I told my mom that half of what we're doing will be stuff she's already seen us preform, but she's still interested in coming, so that makes me happy. She always has such a good time at the wassail. I kind of see it as our holiday kick-off.

I hope that everyone is well. If you don't hear from me for a bit, it's just cuz I'm busy. I'll try to do proper updates every so often. :)

Joy to you all! *hugs*